Monthly Archives: August 2004

Wow…

This is a JournalCon entry but, not THE Journalcon Entry. I’m working on a write up of the weekend with pictures that I hope to have up within a day or two.

I met 100+ people this weekend in Washington, DC. A lot of those people walked up to me and told me they read me and hi and I like your site. It was wonderful, yet, odd in a way.

I’ve been writing this journal for 4.5 years, now. I spent a few months on Geocities, then bought mutteringfool.com and have been here since then. Now, I have a lot of readers that I know in real life. I know they read, encourage them to comment, and don’t have any problem with it. (Other than the fact that I can’t be in the room when Tony reads me site. Don’t ask, I don’t understand it either.)

For the past 4.5 years I’ve known that people I didn’t know were reading. I’ve talked with a lot of people, chatted with them, posted to forums, and on and on. You know, doing the whole internet thing.

It wasn’t until this weekend that the connection between internet and there actually being real live people on the other side of the screen really clicked in my head. As I told Tony on our drive home “It seems different, now.”

Now that I had the chance to met people, I wondered if it would change my tone of writing or if I would feel strange about it. Yeah, I do feel a little different.

But, it’s not a bad different. It’s just different. I can put voices to journals and forum posts. I can see someone’s face as they really are, not just as the face I had in my head. The illogical part of my brain has connected the journals I read to real people.

It’s a good thing, it really is.

As for the people who came up to me and told me that the read me. I love that shit. Really, there is no better way to secure your place in my heart as telling me you enjoy reading what I dribble out here. I’m in awe of many of you, as really there are some fantastic writers who are part of this segment of the web.

I’m extremely glad I went this weekend, even following the bout of nerves I had last week. If I hadn’t gone or had hidden in my room all weekend I would have disappointed myself, and have missed out on this connection to everyone.

Hopefully, I’ll have my other entry up within a day or so, I’m cropping pictures as soon as this is posted.

Have a wonderful day,

25 hours….

We leave for Journalcon tomorrow morning. I’ve just finished laundry for the weekend and I am getting ready to run final errands before we leave.

My panel is coming together nicely, in fact I feel much better about things now. If you’re going to JournalCon make sure you come to the Saturday 1:30PM Journal Secrecy panel. That is where you will find me, Mo, Weetabix, and TranceJen.

I won’t have access this weekend unless some kind soul allows me to borrow a few minutes time on their laptop, so have a good weekend, my lovelies. I promise to come back and report everything I can remember.

I’m off to run errands, see you all on the flip side.

Mish Mish…

A few various things before the actual entry

  • Congratulations to two of my best friends in the world. Stacy and Jo-Anne welcomed their new son into the world yesterday, August 17th at 2:15 in the afternoon. Sammy weighed in at 6 lbs 15 oz and 20.5 inches long. He’s a little tow haired boy.
  • My face is getting better. I remarked on TUS the other day that my face had a red, swollen, itchy patch from my left ear, over my nose and down the right side of my face. It seems I was bitten by a spider (in my ear of all places) and was having a reaction to that. I’m feeling much better, my temperature is down, and the red is gone.
  • I’m also feeling better from my cold. I’ll be coughing for weeks but, I won’t infect anyone, now. It’s the price of having little kids around, they are germ factories who pass them to me.

This has been an odd week. Tre’s off at his Grandmother’s and Kyrsie has been at preschool so, I’ve been completely devoid of children. Which means I haven’t done a damn thing other than goof off online and sleep.

I’ve slept more hours this week than I have in months. It has been glorious even if the hours that I have slept have been when the rest of the world is awake. Don’t get me wrong, I miss Tre. I miss him so much that I have a picture of him on my desktop from his birthday party.

My sweet little nephew turned 1 last Saturday. We had a houseful of people celebrating his birthday. Of course, he had no clue of what was going on. He just ran around giggling and being his cute little self. His Dad opened up his first present and Tre was happy with that. A play phone that made noises. He didn’t care about the whole gigantic pile of stuff from everyone else, he just wanted his phone.

The cake? Well, he got a mouthful of frosting and lost interest since he doesn’t actually like frosting. He’ll eat the cake part but, he’ll drool frosting out of his mouth. That’s another way he is just like his Dad. My brother, Richie, doesn’t eat most sweets. He doesn’t like cake, doesn’t eat candy, doesn’t even like most ice cream. For his birthday he has always gotten things like birthday cinnamon rolls or cookies.

And, now his son is just as big a weirdo as him. I mean who doesn’t like chocolate?

Okay, back to my week. I’m in the middle of washing a massive load of clothes. I realized if I didn’t wash clothes today I was going to end up naked at JournalCon. While, Tony might appreciate that, I don’t think anyone else would. I can’t believe I left it this long.

I had two overflowing bushels plus the mesh hamper bag we have was filled to the brim. After all of that was taken out, Tony found another half a bushel of dirty clothes. As I was sorting them the piles (blacks, whites, colors, towels, underwear) grew and grew and grew. The pile of whites, alone was as high as my hip. Now, I’m not tall but, damn. That’s a huge stack of clothes.

And, that was one pile. All of the other ones were about the same size, except for the towels, those are in two seperate, tall as hell, piles. Right now, I’m on load number 4 in the washer, 3 in the drier and the kitchen floor still looks like a warzone.

I don’t know why I always put off doing laundry as I actually like washing clothes. I love the way they smell and feel when the first come out of the drier. The only part I don’t like is folding them and putting them away. This time, I’m folding and putting some of them directly into suitcases. Since we’re going away this weekend, I figured it would be easier to do it that way.

Except, I can’t decide what to take. I know what the weather is going to be like (90s Friday, 80s Saturday, 70s Sunday) I just can’t decide what I should wear. Do I go with my normal mode of clothing (capris and t-shirts or dresses) or dress like everyone else. Well, actually I don’t own blue jeans so, that’s kind of out.

You see, I don’t like jeans. At all. I wore them for years because that’s just what you wore. I hated them. Jeans are hot and until you’ve owned them 4 years and washed them 100s of times they just aren’t comfortable.

Plus, trying be a short, fat woman. Jeans just are cut to fit short, fat woman. If they fit right at the hips, the waist bulged way out. If they waist and hips did (by some miracle) actually fit they were a foot too long.

Hell, now even if I wanted to buy a pair of jeans, they are all fucking low cut. Even if I was a size 4, I just don’t see that happening. I like my pants to hit my waist, damnit. Nor do I like pants that flare a lot at the ankles. So, I gave up and went with what I liked. Loose, flowy black pants or capris or dresses.

If I had the money I’d wear nothing but skirts and dresses. I just like them. It’s no antifeminist statement (like a few people have told me) or anything like that. I think they look better on me, they’re comfortable and, I just like them.

But, the problem with that is you have to have more dresses than other types of clothes. There is no mixing and matching of various pieces, it’s just one piece, no making it look like an entirely different outfit.

And dresses really aren’t suited for the shooting range or going camping, either. I know, I know, women used to wear dresses for that kind of thing but, have you ever tried to cook over a campfire with loose, flowing clothing around?

That is not a good thing.

Why, you may ask, am I rambling like this? I’m nervous. In 2 days I will be meeting 120+ people at JournalCon. I know none of them. In fact, I haven’t met anyone from the journaling community in real life. I’ve only met people from online a couple of times. Sure, they all went well but, that was a different crowd.

I’m afraid that no one will speak to me. That I’ll end up sitting by myself and not having a damn bit of fun. I’m terrified that people will look right past me. Whenever I’m out in public in my chair, that happens. At a store, the cashiers talk to Tony, at a restaurant the servers treat me like I’m an idiot. People look right over my head.

I don’t want this weekend to be that way. I want to have a good time, make some friends, and really get away from my worries.

Yet, I’m sitting here, worried about meeting everyone. Plus, I’m on a panel Saturday and doing a reading Sunday morning. TranceJen and Weetabix have agreed to be on the panel with me, and the lovely Mo is our moderator. Three wonderful, smart, cute women and me. I’m a nervous wreck and the more I write the bigger the butterflies get. Hell, maybe I’ll bribe my audience with alcohol like Mo suggested.

A question for anyone reading this, how do you get over nerves like this? Comments are below or you can email me. I’m serious. How do I get over this sudden fit of fear?

Thank You…

Today (well, yesterday, now) was one of those days. I’m sick, I was exhausted, I was in a seriously bad mood.Then, I received a package in the mail. Now, I hadn’t ordered anything in a while, so I knew I hadn’t bought it. I opened the box and out fell the soundtrack to “Hedwig and the Angry Inch.” Now, I adore Hedwig. I’ve watched the movie probably 100+ times. I love the music but, hadn’t been able to afford to buy the soundtrack.

I’m not sure of the online name the person uses, but, I wanted to thank her here. V, thank you for this gift. After the week I’ve had it was the greatest surprise, ever. Please, email me so I can thank you properly.

I’ve received a couple things from my Amazon wishlist over the years. A couple books from a woman on a forum who thought of me, a cd or two. Every time it has been just wonderful. It really makes me feel good that someone is reading my words here (or at my other site) and takes the time to do something like that.

No, that isn’t the main reason I have a link to my wishlist up. Actually, I love looking at other people’s wishlists. In fact, I do it whenever I see a link to one. When we’ve had a couple spare dollars, I have bought someone things from it as well. But, really reading someone’s list shows another aspect to their personality.

On mine, you see everything from music CDs to movies to books to an eletric scooter (handicap scooter not toy.) The range within each category shows the eclecticness to my taste.

Once again, thank you, lovely person. You made my week and I have the CD playing right now as I type this. (I’m posting this to Fatbottomedgirls.net and mutteringfool.com so I’m sure she’ll see it.)

I’m not the only one….

There are days, hell, there are weeks and weeks where I feel like a complete oddball in the world. I’m a Liberal. I most definitely lean towards the left (hell, if I leaned any further, I would land flat on my left side flailing about) yet, I am a gunowner.

And today, I actually found someone like me. In my various internet wonderings a came across a blog titled Armed Liberal. I started reading some of the archives from back in 2002 to confirm that it really was what I thought. A political blog, written by a Liberal, who also believes that the Second Amendment defines a personal right to own firearms. It is exactly that, confirmed in this entry.

I am very pleased. In fact, so pleased that I stopped reading to come over here and write about it. In doing research on various guns, concealed carry rights, and tactical techniques, I spend a lot of time surround by conservative ideology. A massive amount of time, actually. It really can grow tiresome, reading about various handguns in one paragraph and the next paragraph spouting “You have to vote for Bush or you really are against the second amendment. And, you are antiAmerican.”

Yeah, well, I call bullshit. I will not be voting for Bush. Even if I were to hold my nose with both hands, the stench of pulling a lever on his name is too great. Really, when it comes down to it, Bush isn’t even pro Second Amendment. He has stated that should the Assault Weapons Ban be reintroduced and passed he would sign it into law, again.

Now, how is that pro Gun Rights? It’s not, not in the least, yet, many conservative gun owners are falling for the thought that he’s only saying that to appease the Republicans who are pro Gun Control. That’s just a pile of horse shit. George W. Bush is not for the Second Amendment, hell, he doesn’t seem to be for many of the amendments (hello, PATRIOT act and freedom of speech cages.)

But, as I was saying it is refreshing to see a Liberal who agrees that we are responsible for defending ourselves. We can not depend on the Government or the Police. I don’t know about you but, I don’t have an armed police officer with me at all times. In fact, if I were to have an emergency right now it could take 30 minutes (or more) for a police officer to get here.

You see, I live in a rural area. We’re a long skinny county that stretches for quite some distance. We have a limited number of police officers. I am responsible for myself and my family’s safety. Therefore, I wholeheartedly support the Second Amendment and Virginia’s Concealed and Open Carry laws.

I’m pleased that I found anothe Liberal who agrees with me. I’m pleased that due to links from his site I can find other Liberals who do, as well. It’s nice to get away from the Conservative viewpoint for awhile.