Archive for July, 2006

The wailing and the gnashing and damn, my stomach hurts

Saturday, July 29th, 2006

So, the site was down for a couple weeks. And, in that time I got my results back. The notify list got the update but, not y’all. (if you want to join the notify list, for now, email me. I can not figure out how to get it to work with this damn template. I need to redesign this site, as I am sick of it.)

It’s not cancer! Yay! It is hyperplasia, which I was diagnosed with several years back but, I didn’t get treated for it, as that’s when Tony’s company went poof, as did the health insurance, and everything else.

I’m now on Medoxyprogesterone for the hyperplasia. Which, is making me sick as hell. I’m sitting here, not moving anything other than my fingers and the nausea is overpowering. I’m supposed to be going to see my parents and the boys today but, right now the thought of being in a moving vehicle for more than an hour, one way, is terrifying.

Now, the wait is on, 3 months on the medoxyprogesterone, then an endometrial biopsy to a) see if the hyperplasia goes away or b) what type of hyperplasia it is. I had an endometrial biopsy back when I first was diagnosed with hyperplasia and, my god, it fucking hurt. I ended up crying during the procedure, it hurt so bad. I’ll make it through it, I’ll just be a wreck leading up to it.

Oh, somedays, I wish to be a man. At least the majority of their stuff is on the outside.

That should end the vagina/uterus entries for a bit. I’m sorry I’ve been so focused on that but, really, what else could my mind think on?


Wednesday, July 5th, 2006

My neck has hurt since the surgery/procedure/ouch-fuck-that-hurts thing last week. Now, I expected other parts to hurt some (and they do) but, the neck and chin and jawline thing is surprising. The only thing I can figure is that however they positioned me to get the breathing tube in did something to my neck.

Actually, back to the expecting pain. The one doctor told me prior to this that I shouldn’t have much pain, so when they were putting my under, I had that last thought “At least it won’t hurt much.” Bullshit. I woke up from the anesthesia in pain, my first words “They lied to me, I fucking hurt.” Yeah, that’s what I said to the nurse.

They told Tony I was fiesty when I woke up.

Fiesty isn’t the word I would use, pissed off and in pain, is more like it. The nurse, George, immediately came over and shot me with Toradol, which didn’t do a damn thing. For some reason Toradol does not touch pain in me. A few minutes later, he came back and asked me if I was okay, I grumped at him that I still hurt, he grabbed another needle to stick in my IV and I asked what it was.

Morphine. And, a minute later, I felt much better. Oddly enough even when I’m in pain and half out of it, I think to ask what I’m being shot up with.

Tony got me home and settled in, I downed pain pills, and until tonight, I’ve done nothing else. It hurts still. A week later and I am still sore. My neck, the parts they worked on, and my left hip. I always have some hip pain but, due to the way they have to lay you, you know, spread open like a damn chicken, I’m in more pain than normal.

Which sucks, I take the pain pills, they make me woozy and doze off a bit but, don’t kill all the pain. They wear off way before they are supposed to and I sit there, grumpy at everything until I can down the next ones.

And this is after the upped the dose on Friday. Yes, Friday, I ended back up there with a fever. Everything’s okay, I’m on antibiotics and they fixed the medicine dose. When they did the exam and I pretty much cried the whole way through it, I think they realized it was nowhere near enough pain medication.

Friday was a long day too. I got there early, after no sleep, and they examined me. Then sent me for xrays and blood work, which took all friggin’ day. By the time I got home, and back into bed, I was a wreck. I did sleep Friday though.

The only other odd thing is I’m having these odd episodes where I just shake. It is like every muscle in my body siezes up and shakes for a minute, then they stop and I go on.

I’m calling my doctor in a few hours to ask about that, and the neck pain. If something’s wrong with my neck, I want it fixed before it gets like my hip, leg and back.

Whining sessions over for tonight. I’m gonna zonk for a couple hours, I hope.


Sunday, July 2nd, 2006

Stolen from the wonderful Bev:

1. Who was your best friend?

Stacy, Jo-Anne, Tracey. The same people who are my best friends now.

In school, my senior year, it would’ve been Bill Rehmann and Larry Fullen. At the end of my junior year, the group I was friends with fell apart, as one couple married (he graduated that year.) I’ve seen a couple of them a few years back, I miss the whole group though.

(Floyd Herbert, Melody Hasselvander Herbert, Larry Fullen, Johnny Kyle, if you ever search for yourself, email me)

2. What sports did you play?

None, in my Senior year.

3. What kind of car did you drive?

Whatever car my parents owned. I think it was a Delta88. I didn’t get my own car until after my first year of college.

4. It’s Friday night, where are you at?

When Randy and I weren’t fighting, with him, when we were out with friends. The best nights were in a corn field or at a construction site.

5. Were you a party animal?

A wee bit, although not as much my Senior Year.

6. Were you a considered a flirt?

I wouldn’t say so.

7. Ever skip school?

Now and again, not as much my senior year as previous years.

8. Ever smoke?

Yes and I could kick my teenage self for ever picking up a cigarette.

9. Were you a nerd?

Not a nerd, a geek though.

10. Did you get suspended/expelled?

Not during my senior year. I had buckled down as I was taking a tough courseload so I could graduate.

11. Can you sing the Alma Mater?

I have no idea if Washington and Lee even had one.

12. Who was your favorite teacher?

Trudi Ficklin. She was my home economics teacher and a friend. Without her, I would never have finished high school.

Mark Comer was a close second, he was my government teacher, whom I enjoyed arguing politics with.

Mary Ingram. Mrs. Ingram was the English teacher for 12th grade and a very tough one but, I learned more in her English class than any of the previous years.

Really, I had a great group of teacher’s my Senior Year.

13. Favorite class?

Home Economics. Over high school, I took all the home economics classes that the school offered.

14. What was your school’s full name?

Washington and Lee Senior High School was the official name. Even though it was 9th through 12th grade. Only no one called it that, it was always W&L.

15. School mascot?


16. If you could go back and do it over, would you?

No. Although, if I could go do all of high school again, knowing what I know now and actual get good grades instead of goofing off, I probably would.

17. What do you remember most about graduation?

Mark Comer bowing to me as I came off the stage with my diploma in hand. The smiles of my teachers. Dana Payne and I goofing off during the ceremony. The incredible heat on the football field.

18. Were you 18?

No, I was 19. I quit school for a year and went back, basically. I was actually still enrolled, the whole time, but missed 150 out of 180 days.

19. Favorite memory of your Senior Year?

Winning a silver medal in the Future Homemakers of America’s state contest for “Illustrated Talk.” Also, being president of FHA that year and going to convention. I was very involved in the FHA.

20. Were you ever posted up on the senior wall?

Didn’t have anything like that.

21. Did you have a job your senior year?

I worked at Hardee’s for part of the year and babysat the rest. The time I worked at Hardee’s was rough, I was working a fulltime schedule and going to school fulltime. I would get home at 1AM, eat, shower and have to be back up at 6AM. I slept through many a morning class.

22. Who did you date?

Randy Atwell. He was much older than I, 28, I believe and really not a good person. I didn’t realize that at the time, though.

23. Where did you go most often for lunch?

The cafeteria. W&L was in a tiny town with only a couple restaurants and we didn’t have off campus lunch available.

24. What did you do after graduation?

My parents threw a party for friends and family, then I ended up at another friend’s house where I had a couple drinks. My boyfriend, Randy, never showed up for my party, as he was off getting drunk and arrested.

25. When did you graduate?