5 Years

Author: Suzy Smith  |  Category: Uncategorized

I wasn’t going to write today, in fact, I’m not really going to. Instead, here is what I wrote the evening of September 11, 2001.

Today started like an average Tuesday, I slept very little last night, was awoken by a cute little toddler, as her Dad brought her in for me to watch.

I got out of bed, lit my first cigarette of the day. Hit the toilet (with my audience of one), grabbed a drink, fixed Kyrstin breakfast.

I wandered into the living room, watched her eat, watched some old reruns.

Then the phone rang.

I picked it up, it was Stacy.

“Turn on the television.”

I told him it was on, he asked if I knew what had happened.

Then he told me.

The World Trade Center was hit by an airplane.

I flipped over to CNN, just in time to see the second plane hit the other tower.

I gasped and called to my Mom, she turned her tv on as well.

The horror that was unfolding before my eyes.

Then the Pentagon was on fire.

The World Trade Center collapsed. I could no longer contain my tears.

Kyrstin crawled into my lap, wiped my face, and hugged me. Such a sweet, innocent gesture from such a small little girl.

I woke Tony up, as I couldn’t stand to be without him any longer.

We sat side by side (with a toddler ocassionally snuggly in between us) as more and more unfolded on our television screen.

“This doesn’t happen in the U.S.”

And Tony gently told me “Babe, it just did.”

Then the tears began again. How? Why? Who?

Why such a senseless act of violence? Why such a cowardly murder of hundreds, thousands, or even tens of thousands of people?

How can this happen here?

Isn’t the US, supposed to be safe?

As the day wore on, I flipped between news stations, hearing of a fire at the Mall a couple of times, but no serious reports of it.

I followed the path of our President as he flew to several places, then back to the nation’s capitol. Even though I’m not a fan of GW Bush, I had the need to know our President was safe.

As soon as I could this afternoon, I got online. Trying to find out if everyone I knew was safe. So far it seems that everyone is.

At least physically. Mentally, right now, I don’t think anyone in the USA, nor most of the world is completely okay.

Not just from digesting what happened today, but what it holds for our future.

No matter what else happens. Our lives, our world is forever changed.

The only thing, I’m glad about today, is that Kyrstin is too young to know what was going on. I don’t know how I would have explained this to her.

How do you tell anyone for that matter, that someone, somewhere, decided that killing a large number of innocent people was their goal?

My heart aches, my soul grieves. I can’t articulate exactly how I am feeling, this terrorist attack, is too big for mere words.

As I end this entry, all I want to say is:

Go hug your loved ones, tell them you love them. Let them know every day how much you care for them. You never know when that last I love you, will be.

May we awake tomorrow, with no further attacks, and news that some of the people in the World Trade Center and The Pentagon, having been saved.

Tomorrow, I’ll have more to say but, I don’t want to infuse my politics into the anniversary of these attacks.

Ernesto

Author: Suzy Smith  |  Category: Uncategorized

Last Friday we were hit by Ernesto. I’m not sure what it was classified as when it hit here but, it really doesn’t matter. What matters was the 4 days without electricity. Yeah, we lost power Friday morning and didn’t get it back until Monday.

Now, the first day, wasn’t bad. It was windy (duh) so it was cool enough with the windows open. We were rushing around, as we had no water put up, since we weren’t expecting the storm to hit until later in the day. And, we’re on a well.

Which means, no electricity, no water. Okay, we made it through that. Friday night was nice, we sat around playing Uno (Harry Potter’s version which has a couple of odd cards) and hoping for it to come back on.

Saturday, we still had a slight breeze, we got water (thank god for local government buildings) we cooked outside, and then got fried chicken from the nearest town for dinner. We read by oil lamps and candles. We survived.

Sunday, no breeze, at all. Hot, humid. We had been promised power the night before, and nothing. Two of us got a break as Kyrstin’s seventh birthday party was being held at my parents. We got home and cooked dinner, outside, on the campstove.

On the ride home though, we got our hopes up. There were lights, lots of them, all down the highway that leads past the road we live on. We turned onto our road (which is a mile long, narrow road, very few houses, that dead ends at the river.)

Nothing. No lights and the sounds of generators from the houses that have them.

Dinner cooked, then we laid about, warm from the lack of breeze and humidity, not very happy at the lack of power.

I called the power company. They thought we had electricity. Well, it had flashed for a minute but, went right back out. They had to send the work order back out. There were only a few pockets of this county without power and we were one of them.

I could’ve cried when she told me 11PM Monday estimate on the work being finished. Two days in a row we were told 10PM, and nothing.

Monday dawned early and hot. This little concrete house holds heat in too well. We all were just defeated. Hot, tired, fed up with no power, worried about money (we lost food and had to spend a lot on things like batteries, water, ice, food to eat throughout.) Since finances are always scary tight, this really didn’t help.

We got through the day, reading, laying about, getting ready to grill outside, when we saw power trucks on the road. So, we waited.

And behold we had power. Glorious electricity. We cooked inside, we ate by electric lights.

It was a rough weekend, it’s going to be a long, awful month. But, we made it through, we’re prepared if another storm hits. And, we’re much better off than my hometown. Colonial Beach was just ravaged again, and they were just getting back on their feet from Hurricane Isabel.

I didn’t go to see the damage while we were at Kyrstin’s party as the last time I did that I ended up with a broken wrist. I saw pictures in the local paper, that was enough.

We just wait now to get past hurricane season, hopefully, with no more big storms. And contemplate moving away from the coast, if only for a minute.

Chronic Pain and the DEA

Author: Suzy Smith  |  Category: Uncategorized

I have a long post about chronic pain, doctors, and me saved in draft form from last week. Those who have read a long time now of my chronic pain issues and the doctors who don’t treat pain the way it should be treated.

Well, today the DEA finally made a teeny-tiny step in the right direction:

Specifically, the DEA proposed a formal rule that would allow doctors with patients who need a constant supply of morphine-based painkillers to write multiple prescriptions in a single office visit. Under the new rule, a doctor can write three 30-day prescriptions at a time — two of them future-dated — to be filled a month apart.

From The Washington Post.

Now, this is a small step but, a good one. If only law enforcement will leave pain doctors alone on this.