Day: December 20, 2006

One thing. I was going after one present today. A 40 minute, one way, drive to get it but, I was going.

All the way to Fredericksburg, stopped at the first store, impossible, didn’t have it. My brain froze.

I drove to the next one, got to the shelf where I hoped it would be and it was there. And it was mine, I shoved it into the cart and squeed with glee.

Then, a quick jaunt through another section to grab a stocking’s worth of stuff, not overdoing it for once (normally, the stocking stuffers I buy are enough for 4 stockings. This year, just one).

Lack of money helps in that manner, though.

The one thing is wrapped, sitting here waiting for Christmas. All I can do is grin.

One thing. I was going after one present today. A 40 minute, one way, drive to get it but, I was going.

All the way to Fredericksburg, stopped at the first store, impossible, didn’t have it. My brain froze.

I drove to the next one, got to the shelf where I hoped it would be and it was there. And it was mine, I shoved it into the cart and squeed with glee.

Then, a quick jaunt through another section to grab a stocking’s worth of stuff, not overdoing it for once (normally, the stocking stuffers I buy are enough for 4 stockings. This year, just one).

Lack of money helps in that manner, though.

The one thing is wrapped, sitting here waiting for Christmas. All I can do is grin.

Three Months Today

As of today at 3AM, I have been a nonsmoker for three full months. On September 20th, I set down the cigarettes and lighter and I haven’t picked one up since then.

This is going to sound so full of myself but, I am so incredibly proud of me. I had tried to quit multiple times but, was never able to do it. For some reason this time was it. I was just tired of the expense, the smell, the taste, the niece and nephews seeing me smoke and thinking cigarettes were a good thing.

Actually, I think the last thing is really what did it the most. The kids have plenty of smokers around, they need more nonsmokers to look up to and to see that smoking is bad.

The first three days of the quit were hard. Real hard. I had been on Wellbutrin for a week but, the loss of the nicotine was horrendous. I was miserable and had a headache for three days.

Mentally it was even worse. I dreamt about smoking. My tongue could taste the cigarette smoke in my mouth. I wanted a cigarette.

As the days went by though, it got a bit easier. Now, I’m not saying easy but, I started to think about other things. I started to move away from the cigarettes. My best weapon during all of this was Tony. He stood behind me, bought me hard candy, told me I could do it and just cheered me on. Plus, when I got cranky he was so understanding. Tony is just an amazing, incredible man.

Now, three months later, I am a nonsmoker. I do not like the smell of cigarettes, at all. When, I’m around a heavy smoker (especially in their house) it really is difficult to not gag at the smell. Before I quit, I never realized how horrendous they smell, and how they make everything smell like it. Their clothes, hair, furniture, bedding and even pillows are just awful.

But, if you’re a nonsmoker you know this. And, if you’re a smoker like I was, you’re in denial.

Yes, I know the main reason should have been for my health. That didn’t work for me, though. I needed another push and the kids were it. Not to say that I don’t feel better, as I do. I can breathe better, my eternal cough is gone, I just feel better. I can smell better, and taste food better. The smoker’s dulled sense of taste and smell is gone. And I like it.

That is what keeps me from picking one up. I feel better, I like being able to smell, the kids see me not smoking, and I don’t stink anymore. 3 months and I haven’t gone back.. Now, onto a lifetime of being a nonsmoker.

Why

Why did you start blogging/writing online? is today’s Holidailies prompt.

I officially started journaling on March 25, 2000. For about a year prior to that, I had been keeping a website on Geocities and updating it weekly with what I was up to.

In March of 2000 though, I ran across Dr Scott’s Medea Sin journal. And, I devoured it, then I found Mo of Mopie.com (then BlueGreen, I believe.) I popped into her chatroom, talked to her about journaling (I still have an urge to add the extra l)and that convinced me to start this.

That isn’t all of it though. I started writing as a small child and haven’t stopped since. I love to write, I “write” in my head when I’m not actually physically doing it. Life wouldn’t be life without the ability to write down my thoughts.

Having an online journal gives me an audience for those thoughts. That is what keeps me writing here after six years. Well, that and having so many friends and family reading this to keep in contact with me.

Have a great day.