I woke up yesterday smiling and happy. That is just an oddity as I normally wake up grumpy, until I am completely alert. But, yesterday I was happy and I know why. I dreamed about Mikey. Hell, I thought I was with him, back in the day, sitting out in the middle of a field out on Ingelside Plantation watching the stars and talking.
We were sitting on the ground, atop the red plaid blanket, with the jeep parked behind us. It was slightly chilly to the point that sitting close was necessary but we didn’t shiver. The radio was on low and we were just discussing a million different things. And hugging one another.
It was so real. I could feel his arms around me and hear his voice saying “hey girlie.” This had to have been one of the most realistic dreams I have ever had. One of my first thoughts when I woke up was I needed to call Mikey. I rolled over and then it hit me that it was a dream. I’m not 18 years old and Mikey is gone. The thought of having to go to the cemetery to “see” him is just heart wrenching.
By this time I was fully awake at not so happy. I still had the good feelings of having spent time with him but the reality of it all was just too much. I rolled back over toward the wall and clenched my eyes tightly closed in hope of going back to sleep and back into the dream to no avail.
Instead, I got up and got on with my day, in order to get one day further away from it all.