Archive for September, 2008

Monday, September 22nd, 2008

Thank you all so much for your thoughts and prayers, your comments and emails. You have no idea of how much they mean to me. I do have some of the greatest readers in the world.

This weekend was a couple of good things, the 20th was the second anniversary of me quitting smoking (yes, I know, I lose some weight, quit smoking, start eating healthier, then boom, this happens, would that be irony?) I am proud of those 2 years and plan on continuing on being a nonsmoker for the next 50 or 60 years.

Saturday night Tony and I went out to the Melting Pot in Fredericksburg to celebrate our 10th anniversary early since on October 24th I’ll be recovering from the surgery. The food was great, the server was nice, we had a relaxing meal that made me forget for 2 hours everything that is weighing down on me. After it was over and we got back in the van everything settled back on my shoulders but those 2 hours were beautiful.

Before we left here though, I had a complete pity me breakdown. It had to be done, I needed to release the emotion but, I wish it hadn’t happened then. It is bad enough that our 10th anniversary will be spent like this, just as our 9th anniversary was spent with me recovering from surgery, only then my foot. I sure am ready for a break.

and bed, I’m just rambling in circles now.

Wednesday, September 17th, 2008

If I could think of anything worse than every swear word I know I would use them all.

I have a diagnosis, and it is the bad one. Renal cell carcinoma. I have to have a bunch more tests run, and my doctors have to get together to set my surgery date.

The surgery should be within the next two weeks. We won’t know until after surgery what the next step will be.

And the week rolls on.

Wednesday, September 17th, 2008

Today was the endocrinologist’s appointment and a spot of not as bad news. My A1C is 5.6, we are not changing my meds, my left kidney seems to be functioning well.

A small spot of good is really nice amongst all the bad.

Tomorrow is my urologist appointment and Friday is back to primary care for a cellulitis check. My word I am exhausted, all this back and forth, driving an hour each way is just wearing on me. Plus, the whole insane cost of gas is just wrecking our bank account.

Ok, that’s about it for tonight. Thank you so much for all the emails and good thoughts.

Update from Tuesday

Wednesday, September 17th, 2008

I’m home for now. They are running a bunch of kidney function panels and other screenings to try and determine if the mass has spread outside the kidney.

It is no longer a 95% chance I’m losing it, it is a done deal, the kidney will be coming out, no matter what is found, as it can do more harm than good as it is.

I see my surgeon on Thursday afternoon, followed by my whole team of doctors to get everything set up. So, within a week or so I’ll have the surgery, then 4-10 days in the hospital, followed by several months of recovering.

If it is cancer, and the chances of that are more than 70% it is, they will go from there regarding decisions on chemo and/or radiation treatment. We’re hoping that the mass is in the kidney completely and that I will not have to go through either of those but, we’ll cross that bridge when we get to it.

Complicating all of this is my allergy to iodine, the contrast used in CT scans and MRIs is iodine based and I have to be on steroids and benadryl for 12 hours prior to any scan, so big pain in the ass, plus the contrast is extremely hard on the kidneys. With me soon to have only one being nice to my other kidney is a good thing.

So, in short, thanks for being there, and we’re still in a holding pattern.

My Mascot

Tuesday, September 16th, 2008

Hello Kidney is my new mascot. If I have to deal with all of this, I will do it with humor, damnit. I have a bag packed, Tony has a bag packed, and they are in the car. I didn’t get the sewing done I wanted to but, I’m hoping they’ll let me come home prior to anything else.

Well see. I am having a lot of pain in my right kidney so I talked to it and told it to shut the hell up. It isn’t listening, yet.

Tony will have instructions on updating y’all just in case I am unable to. Thank you for all your support.

Suzy Smith