Archive for October, 2008

Not long now…

Thursday, October 16th, 2008

I finally see the new surgeon, tomorrow (it’s after midnight so it counts as Thursday, here).

I am a wreck. I just want to move on from this and get our lives back on track, post cancer surgery, and work on getting healthier. My paperwork is all filled out, my room is booked at the motel, the van is not gassed up, shoot. I’ll do that on the way out. Johns Hopkins is about 3 hours from here, without traffic, with traffic, it could be much longer than that we shall see.

I will update after we are home Friday to let everyone know what is going on. Spare thoughts and prayers are always welcome.


New Hair, new stickers…

Tuesday, October 14th, 2008

New orangey red hair

Stickers and plate on my van


Thursday, October 9th, 2008

Humor, silly ass humor but, I need to have humor to fight this.

Dragging on and on.

Wednesday, October 8th, 2008

I have an appointment on October 17th at 9AM at Johns Hopkins Hospital. We’re looking at November for the surgery now. Fuck, I just want it over with. I have a malignant fucking tumor in me, why drag it out so long? Should we let it grow and grow?

Fuck the medical system. I’m so tired of it. Plus, I really am physically tired and have been for about a year. I thought it was my fibromyalgia (and fuck right off if you don’t believe it is a real disease, if it isn’t I want to know what else makes every fucking thing hurt so much.)

Shit, oh, I was going to say I thought it was the fibro but, according to 2 doctors the extreme fatigue is probably from the cancer.

So, bad stuff today but, I am so ready for a good day of news. sigh. I will be staying in Baltimore the night prior to the appointment so if you’re in the area and would like to meet with me, email or comment.



Saturday, October 4th, 2008

The diagnosis was confirmed by the MRI. I obviously still held a hope of the original one being incorrect as I burst into tears over it.

I still have no surgery date set, as the hospital my urologist has privileges at doesn’t want to have my kidney removal performed there. Instead I am being sent to Johns Hopkins Hospital for the surgery. The huge downside of this is that it is 3 hours from our house. I am not able to get around enough on my own to go by myself so we are working on finding a place for Tony to stay, that we can afford, while I’m in hospital.

The good news is JHH is one of the best hospitals in the world for kidney cancer so that makes me feel a bit better. Unfortunately, it may still be a month before I can have the surgery. Damn it, I just want the tumor gone.

I am thankful we have the insurance we do as so far they have been fantastic. Without it, I don’t know what I would do as we have pretty much emptied our savings just for all the copays, medication changes, and gas expense of multiple doctors’ appointments.

Thanks again to everyone for your thoughts, it really is bolstering Tony and me through all of this.