Archive for May, 2009

Seven Deadly Sins

Tuesday, May 26th, 2009

How do the seven deadly sins come into play in your life? Whether or not you are religious, whether or not you believe in heaven and hell, how do they play out in your life?

Write about them on your blog/journal/etc and then leave a link here. The best set of entries will get a 20 Amazon gift card from me, or from another online store of their choice.

But, you must leave a link here to win. This is open until June 20th.

The seven deadly sins are: lust, gluttony, greed, sloth, wrath, envy and pride. Learn more at Wikipedia.


Tuesday, May 26th, 2009

Part of a series of the seven deadly sins…

I want this I mean, I really want it. To the point that I added it to my wishlist and just keep going back and looking at it.

My computer is a T40. Yeah, pretty damn old and starting to slow way down. Not to mention it is heavy as hell. Carrying it is difficult for me with the gimpage and the way I used to strap the case across my body means the strap runs over the area of my incision that has multiple hernias. Needless to say it doesn’t get carried that way anymore.

The greed doesn’t end there, though. There is a purse collection by Coach called Tattoo and I want them. Particularly the one on the top right in black.

I could go on and on but, those are just two examples of my greediness.

Best Kid Story Ever

Saturday, May 23rd, 2009

My morning, and what I just posted to chat:

Suzika: OMG, I have the funniest kid story ever.

Suzika: T just woke me up about 40 minutes ago: Aunt Pooh, I had gum in my underwear and now its stuck.

Suzika: So, I asked him: “Where is it stuck?”
Suzika: “On my penis”
Suzika: fuck. right? How the hell do I deal with this one?
Suzika: So, I had him pull his undies down and I realize it is just his penis but, between the little foreskin he has and the head of it. And the foreskin is sealed tight.

Suzika: Now, I am fighting back laughing and I ask him why he did this? “I don’t know but, I put cold water on it.’

Suzika: Yeah, so he had had not only gum stuck but, now, he had cold, hard gum stuck.

Suzika: And, this kid, well, Tre has more penis than a 5 year old should.
Suzika: So, I got a washcloth got it wet w/ as warm of water as I could and wrapped it around his penis
Suzika: Then, I had to use another wet washclothes to SCRUB the gum off of him, while I pulled the foreskin back.
Suzika: I got most of the gum off that way, but, there was still some stuck. I know that lotion, oil, that kind of thing will remove gum from hair.
Suzika: So I gave him some lotion to rub on it. We got the gum off but now I will have nightmares that I introduced him to lotion on his penis
Suzika: Now, he is lying on the bed telling me “You are the best Aunt in the whole wide world”

You’re damn right I am. Who else would fix this?

(PS. If you know this kid in real life, do not give him grief about it, he is embarrassed over it, thanks.)


Wednesday, May 13th, 2009

NED. I am so sick of those letters, and the words they stand for: No Evidence of Disease. That is the best I can hope for with renal cell carcinoma is NED. It is not curable, you just go into a state where no metastases are seen, where it looks like the cancer is all gone.

Everything hinges on that. My gastric bypass (yes, I am working toward that, no that doesn’t mean I am any less for fat acceptance, it just means, *I* need the help to lose weight to make handling my cancer easier), my hernia surgery as I have multiple small hernias on my incision line. And, right now the best we can do is wait until I am NED, and lose some weight to make the surgery easier on me. Or when I have my fat ass surgery they may be willing to put in the mesh then.

Unfortunately, I will have to have mesh on the entire length of my nephrectomy incision as it is very likely to come back time and time again, as it was a very invasive surgery that cut through all the muscles that wrap around your torso. The incision was measured and it is actually 16 inches, not 15.5. Now, hold a ruler to your stomach. From your belly button up, then add 1/3 more of that ruler. That is how long this damn thing is.

Now, I don’t give a damn what it looks like. I am not vain enough to care that I have a line down my stomach. That scar saved my life. I am lucky, my cancer was caught while it was just under stage 2. 1/10 of a centimeter more of growth and would be considered stage 2, instead of 1. That may not seem like much but that helps me mentally at least. And I need that little bit of hope.

My family and friends don’t seem to understand what is going through my head with all of this, or the fact that I am not cured just because my kidney is gone. I will always have RCC as part of my life. Unless they come up with a definitive cure it is there. And, honestly? Drug companies are more likely to come up with long term, prolonging drugs more than cures. Cures are one time money coming in, treatment is multiple times of money pouring in. The ‘treatments’ for kidney cancer are insanely expensive, and pretty much are more hopes and prayers that anything else.

I know this. That hangs over my head every single day. If one or two cancer cells escaped prior to my nephrectomy, they’ll attach somewhere and grow. Then it is a race to try and keep them from enlarging.

Sigh, this is depressing enough. I’m off to finish my drink (at Panera Bread) and go change for the dinner theater we are going to. Have a good one.