Daily Archives: May 23, 2009

Best Kid Story Ever

My morning, and what I just posted to chat:

Suzika: OMG, I have the funniest kid story ever.

Suzika: T just woke me up about 40 minutes ago: Aunt Pooh, I had gum in my underwear and now its stuck.

Suzika: So, I asked him: “Where is it stuck?”
Suzika: “On my penis”
Suzika: fuck. right? How the hell do I deal with this one?
Suzika: So, I had him pull his undies down and I realize it is just his penis but, between the little foreskin he has and the head of it. And the foreskin is sealed tight.

Suzika: Now, I am fighting back laughing and I ask him why he did this? “I don’t know but, I put cold water on it.’

Suzika: Yeah, so he had had not only gum stuck but, now, he had cold, hard gum stuck.

Suzika: And, this kid, well, Tre has more penis than a 5 year old should.
Suzika: So, I got a washcloth got it wet w/ as warm of water as I could and wrapped it around his penis
Suzika: Then, I had to use another wet washclothes to SCRUB the gum off of him, while I pulled the foreskin back.
Suzika: I got most of the gum off that way, but, there was still some stuck. I know that lotion, oil, that kind of thing will remove gum from hair.
Suzika: So I gave him some lotion to rub on it. We got the gum off but now I will have nightmares that I introduced him to lotion on his penis
Suzika: Now, he is lying on the bed telling me “You are the best Aunt in the whole wide world”

You’re damn right I am. Who else would fix this?

(PS. If you know this kid in real life, do not give him grief about it, he is embarrassed over it, thanks.)