Monthly Archives: October 2009

Two months…

Since August 31st, 2009, I spent a lot of September and October in the hospital dealing with recurrent cellulitis in my lower abdomen surrounding my navel. This is the cellulitis that happened last year that pointed us to my kidney tumor. The cellulitis that saved my life then has done its best to try and do the opposite.

From the 31st of August until September 24th, I was on high dose antibiotics, very harsh antibiotics that started to make my kidney function go awry. Then we had to back off of them, to some others. But, the infection seemed to go away.

Then in early October, the infection came back with a vengeance. It was worse than it had been before and even more painful. I was shipped back to the hospital, a new PICC line put in, more harsh antibiotics, then set up for home care, antibiotics by my PICC line with a nurse coming in twice a week. We would do the antibiotics.

We left on Friday evening, and as I was getting into my van, my PICC line fell out. Literally, just gone. Tony noticed it on the ground, asked me if I needed that and we flew back up into the hospital where they set it up for me to get a new line the next morning.

Saturday came, we went back in, the doctor doing the line that day was an ass. He was bitchy about doing it, shoving things around so it hurt. I’ve had multiple PICC lines by this point, none of them have ever hurt. Obviously he didn’t want to be doing the line, he did a half ass job, and we found that out Saturday evening that it wasn’t even half assed, it was no assed as the damn thing didn’t work, at all. The nurse tried to get it to work, nothing. Back to the ER, they moved it around, got me some antibiotics and some pain relief.

On back home, tried to do my antibiotics on Sunday, very little went through. The pain in my stomach was getting worse, the red was growing up higher, I called the infectious disease doctor and they told me to come back to the hospital.

I sat in the ER, with the chills, in pain, with a doctor wanting me readmitted until early the next morning due to a triage nurse that seemed to be pissed that I told her my doctor (who is a hospital doctor) told me to come to be readmitted. Finally readmitted, back to the same floor, back to the same nurses, who by this point, know me on site, and recognize my “woobie.”

Oh, yes, I have a woobie. It is a large fleece tie-dyed blanket that I hand tied last year. My woobie comes to the ER with me. It stays in the hospital with me, on my bed, going from test to test. It is the main connection to home for me.

My woobie is what gets me through the hours and hours and hours of time without my husband. When I am without Tony I am without more than half of myself. After the last admission, I was in there for quite some time, until Tuesday of this week. Now, I am home, we are getting ready for Halloween. I have 3 little pumpkins carved, 1 big one carved, and multiple others with lids cut and guts removed.

I just finished dyeing my hair back to the bright shade of pink I love. It had faded a barely pink mess during my hospital stays. Now, only now that I have the house smelling of pumpkin guts and hair bright as can be do I feel like I am home, I am recovering, I am back to me.

Two months…

Since August 31st, 2009, I spent a lot of September and October in the hospital dealing with recurrent cellulitis in my lower abdomen surrounding my navel. This is the cellulitis that happened last year that pointed us to my kidney tumor. The cellulitis that saved my life then has done its best to try and do the opposite.

From the 31st of August until September 24th, I was on high dose antibiotics, very harsh antibiotics that started to make my kidney function go awry. Then we had to back off of them, to some others. But, the infection seemed to go away.

Then in early October, the infection came back with a vengeance. It was worse than it had been before and even more painful. I was shipped back to the hospital, a new PICC line put in, more harsh antibiotics, then set up for home care, antibiotics by my PICC line with a nurse coming in twice a week. We would do the antibiotics.

We left on Friday evening, and as I was getting into my van, my PICC line fell out. Literally, just gone. Tony noticed it on the ground, asked me if I needed that and we flew back up into the hospital where they set it up for me to get a new line the next morning.

Saturday came, we went back in, the doctor doing the line that day was an ass. He was bitchy about doing it, shoving things around so it hurt. I’ve had multiple PICC lines by this point, none of them have ever hurt. Obviously he didn’t want to be doing the line, he did a half ass job, and we found that out Saturday evening that it wasn’t even half assed, it was no assed as the damn thing didn’t work, at all. The nurse tried to get it to work, nothing. Back to the ER, they moved it around, got me some antibiotics and some pain relief.

On back home, tried to do my antibiotics on Sunday, very little went through. The pain in my stomach was getting worse, the red was growing up higher, I called the infectious disease doctor and they told me to come back to the hospital.

I sat in the ER, with the chills, in pain, with a doctor wanting me readmitted until early the next morning due to a triage nurse that seemed to be pissed that I told her my doctor (who is a hospital doctor) told me to come to be readmitted. Finally readmitted, back to the same floor, back to the same nurses, who by this point, know me on site, and recognize my “woobie.”

Oh, yes, I have a woobie. It is a large fleece tie-dyed blanket that I hand tied last year. My woobie comes to the ER with me. It stays in the hospital with me, on my bed, going from test to test. It is the main connection to home for me.

My woobie is what gets me through the hours and hours and hours of time without my husband. When I am without Tony I am without more than half of myself. After the last admission, I was in there for quite some time, until Tuesday of this week. Now, I am home, we are getting ready for Halloween. I have 3 little pumpkins carved, 1 big one carved, and multiple others with lids cut and guts removed.

I just finished dyeing my hair back to the bright shade of pink I love. It had faded a barely pink mess during my hospital stays. Now, only now that I have the house smelling of pumpkin guts and hair bright as can be do I feel like I am home, I am recovering, I am back to me.

Meet my new nephew

My sister Katie and her fiance Eric welcomed a son into the world Sunday October 25th, 2009. He is adorable and instantly smiled at his Aunt Pooh. In fact he was in my arms in this picture:

Cute isn’t he? His name is Coren Doan and he is welcomed by 3 brothers, and 1 sister.

Love you, kiddo.

Meet my new nephew

My sister Katie and her fiance Eric welcomed a son into the world Sunday October 25th, 2009. He is adorable and instantly smiled at his Aunt Pooh. In fact he was in my arms in this picture:

Cute isn’t he? His name is Coren Doan and he is welcomed by 3 brothers, and 1 sister.

Love you, kiddo.

11 Years Ago Today…




Today is our 11th wedding anniversary. This is a picture of our entire wedding party.

This is my favorite picture of Tony from our reception, just the way the lights are makes it lovely. He looks so damn young in this picture.

This my favorite picture of us together from that day. Just a simple one in front of our unity candle.

Our first dance as husband and wife. And, you can see my wedding set on my hand.

11 years ago, I stood before God, our family and friends and vowed to love you through good and through bad, through sickness and health, through richer for poor. And, while we have had more poor than rich, much sickness, and a lot of bad happen, we have also had many good things happen, and times of good health.

Right now we are going through one of the hardest parts of our marriage as I have been in and out of the hospital the past 2 months, dealing with kidney cancer for the past year, and other things that have just been rough. Yet, I know that you love me even more than you did 11 years ago, as I love you even more than I did 11 years ago.

I can see the love in your eyes even when I have annoyed you or even when you are worried about me, in fact especially when you are worried about my health. Last night when you left the hospital I know you had the weight of the world on your shoulders yet right at midnight you remember to message me to wish me a happy anniversary.

I love you baby. I look forward to many more years with you. Hopefully some healthy ones to come as we figure out what is actually going on with me health wise.

Happy Anniversary Baby, you are the reason I wake up every day. You are the reason I dream sweet dreams at night. Thank you for 11 years, I can’t wait to see what the next 11 bring us.