Archive for September, 2011

Complacent, no more.

Saturday, September 17th, 2011

As women we are taught to be nice, complacent, to do what is asked of us, lest we be called a bitch, whore, fat, ugly. We are taught, through society as a whole, that we are lesser beings than men, that we are not as smart as men, we aren’t as capable of men, we aren’t as good as men.

As women we are called “girls” by men to keep us in the mindset that they are in control. We are whistled at, hollered at, asked for things, over and over again. “Send me a picture.” “Show me your tits.” “You know you want me.”

With that we tend to just try and push past it. Ignore it, leave things be, we don’t want to disturb the peace or confront anyone. Until eventually we have enough, we push back. We say no, then again, we are fat, ugly, whore, bitches and not worthy of the praise of that man.

We are taught that our worth as a human being is based on whether or not some man wants to have sex with us. If we aren’t skinny, but, with large breasts, and a round ass, perfect height, long hair, we aren’t worthy.

If we don’t fall at his feet, we aren’t good enough.

You know what? We don’t need to be good enough for anyone other than ourselves. Fuck the men who pull this shit. They are not worthy of our friendship, our companionship, our love, our bodies, or our minds.

They do not have the right to demand anything of us. Regardless of what they may think, it is our right to decide about all of these things. They do not have the right to intimidate us, insult us, treat us badly because we don’t fall into their patriarchal mindset.

There are reasons behind what will surely be called an “outburst” tonight. Someone from my past got a hold of my cell number and was repeatedly texting me “send me a picture” “send me pictures of your body” “come on girl.” on and on over a couple of days.

I refused. I am not interested. I am happily married, and have been married for almost 13 years, I do not want this man. What finally brought me to the breaking point was: “You were on facebook, you could send me a picture.”

I do not have this man friended, my facebook is being brought back to friends only because of this, and he is watching to see what I am doing.

Finally, I said “Fuck off, you have no right to demand anything of me.” Yes, confrontational, but, I was just done with this guy. I knew what was coming, as it always does, you reject one of these assholes and “fuck you, you fat ugly bitch.”

Minutes earlier begging for pictures, now, I’m a fat ugly bitch? Can’t take rejection, can you? What kind of man chases a married woman anyway? Why is this automatically the reaction, no matter what?

I am tired of it. I spent many years being walked all over by men, prior to meeting my husband that is. He is a true man who would never make demands of a woman, then treat her like that. Real men treat women as their equals. Real men are worthy of our time, our love, our bodies, our souls. It is just fighting through all the men that aren’t worthy that tires many women, even long after we have found our real man.