I was up half the night wrapping gifts. Our little, pencil tree doesn’t have much room underneath it so the presents are stacked on the shelf behind it and poking all over the place. The wrapping paper I used is from Target.

Target sells these short rolls that have a good amount of square footage, but that are short enough for me to not have to fight to cut. They are a dollar a roll and most years they have a pattern or two I love. All I need is one or two patterns as I tend to do a wrapping scheme.

This year’s scheme is a red and white chevron stripe for Tony’s gifts, with red, green, and gold ribbons and bows. There is gumdrop covered paper, with a red background for my family, and a snowflake stripe for Tony’s nephew and for any exchange gifts I’ll be doing.

For years I did plain red and green paper. Then it got to the point I could no longer find good single color paper that wasn’t see-through, so I changed to this type of thing. I much prefer this as it looks more orderly under the tree. I don’t know why I have this compulsion for it all to match like this, as really, it is the opposite of what you’d expect from me.

I’m the one who dyes her hair all sorts of colors and has no shame in it. In fact, I do not understand women that try to deny they have colored their hair. It makes no sense, you had dark hair on Friday, now Monday you’re almost blonde? We’re not idiots.

My clothes also tend toward the brightly colored, and not perfectly matched, as life is too short to be boring. I know, I know, fat women are supposed to wear sold colors, and black, with nothing happy about it, but really? Even if I wore black head to toe, I’m fat. Is all black going to make me look 10 pounds lighter? Well, guess what? 10 pounds doesn’t mean shit to me.

Yet, my tree and my Christmas wrapping has to be a certain way. I do not understand myself sometimes.

I do have more to wrap. There is one gift I cannot figure out how to wrap as it is an odd size and weight. There is also another box up high, that Tony has to pull down for me, it has probably five or six gifts in it.

Then there are the basketballs. All the younger boys are getting a basketball from us this year, how the hell do you wrap one? I’m thinking about just putting a bow on the damn things and being done with it. Or breaking down and buying gift bags.

Gift bags irk me though. They are ok for a birthday, or something oddly shaped, but I do not understand people who gift bag everything. First of all, the bags are at least a buck a piece. That adds a lot of money when you have a big family, and doesn’t include the cost of tissue paper, as well. Secondly, they do not stack under a tree. You can’t put them on top of one another. Last, they just aren’t as festive looking.

I need to get a picture of my tree, yet, for this year. I’d do it now, but I need to vacuum first. Another chore that I dislike. Once I do that, though, I’ll share a picture here, as I really love my tree.