Monthly Archives: November 2013

Trying

Today was a good day, overall. I had a wound are appointment*, hit Target and Joann’s fabric**, then home.

When, I first hit the door the bitter cold smacked me in my face. It is only November, in Virginia, this much cold is not normal. Hell, I haven’t found my winter jacket, yet. I know it is in the house, I just haven’t figured out where in the house.

Off my gimpy ass toddled, wrapped in a sweater and shivering. Also, whining, a lot.

Eventually, I made myself stop, take a moment and remember that things aren’t that bad. Yes, I was cold, however, I had a house to come home to. A heater to warm my feet, a blanket to cover my lap. I had food to make dinner for my husband and me.

I have a car, which although it has 300,000 miles on it, runs enough to get me around locally. I have both legs still, even after it was threatened by a doctor last year.

My remaining kidney is in good condition. While, I have nodules in my lung, other than that the cancer seems to be under control.

My other health issues are mostly under containment. The only other big issue, that isn’t responding to treatment, seems to by my thyroid issue. My thyroid decided to take a dump a few years ago.

I gained (more) weight, I lost a lot of hair, I was exhausted 24/7, my skin was as dry as tissue paper. I went on Synthroid, got better for a few years and now, well, the symptoms are all back. Yesterday, my hair’s thinness became apparent to me when I saw a picture of me.

It is scary to see how poorly it looks, again. This means it is time to cut it all off again and go back to the doctor to get my meds adjusted.

However, as I said, overall, today my brain came back together, the pity party went away, and marched on.

I’m counting that as a win. Regardless of everything else.

A day where my attitude falls back into line is a good one.

Have a great Wednesday,
Suzy Smith

*I have wounds from my lyphedema, that cannot heal on their own. I almost had them healed until we changed the protocol. Now, we’re trying the old one, again.

**With winter coming, and a not very well insulated home, I bought fleece to make curtains for the living room. They will be boring and ugly, but anything to help keep the heat in, and cold out.

Month of Gratitude

November has become the month of gratitude on Facebook. I, as am I wont to do, was running behind and just began posting what I am thankful for a couple of days ago.

So often in life the minuatiue of every day gets us down and makes us forget what we should be thinking about all the time. Heck, this morning, when I awoke way too early for a Saturday, threw off the blankets to a cold room, and a hurting leg, made gratitude the last thing on my mind.

I drug myself out of bed, got dressed in layers, drug my bad leg to the minivan, and got in. The car started, the sun was shining, I made it through McDonald’s drive-through (for hot chocolate) in no time.

My destination was Charlie and Tre’s football games. I was there, early, and the wonderful guys let me in the front, as I cannot make that walk from the far lot.

Yes, it was cold and windy. However, it was sunny and bright, my Tre and Charlie attacked me with hugs, I got to talk to my little brother and my Daddy. What more could you ask for?

This morning started with whining, but within a short time I was happy and enjoying the games. (and they won, Charlie won 30-0 and Tre won 52-0. I got hugs and off they went.

There is so much to be grateful in this one morning, yet, many days I cannot bring myself to be. I know that a large part of it is my situation. I am fighting depression as I have most of my life. There are days when I cannot bring myself to do anything.

Then there is dealing with the cancer side effects, particularly the lymphedema and the wounds from that. It is hard. On top of that I have fibromylagia, compression neuropathy, and all sorts of pain causing stuff.

I have to think about how good my life really is to get myself out of whine mode. Today, I have done a good job with it. Right now, I am waiting for the time when my friends will get here for us to have a fire and roast hot dogs and marshmallows.

This is just one day. There is so much to be grateful for, I just need to focus on that and not so much on the bad things.

My goal now is to start posting what I am grateful for when I am having a particularly bad day. Also, Holidailies is coming, which means many more posts from me.

Happy Saturday.
Suzy Smith