Fuck

Author: Suzy Smith  |  Category: Uncategorized

First, Nance is still there, she’s just updating in the open so go to nebshit.com to see her.

Now, I should have known better to have gotten some faith back in the medical system. Today was my followup at the orthopedics clinic. Different doctor.

A resident like last time, only this one was an asshole. The only thing he kept saying “You’re not a surgical candidate, yet.”

Well, no shit, sherlock. That’s a few years down the line, if I let you idiots into my spine in the first place. I asked him “What can we do for my pain?”

“You’re not a surgical candidate.”

“Can you send me to a pain doctor?”

“You’re not a surgical candiate.”

“I can’t spend the rest of my life like this.”

“You’re not a surgical candidate.”

Jesus H. Christ, since when do doctors think of nothing but surgery? What happened to the fucking JCAHO standards on treating pain? I guess they fly out the damn window if you aren’t a surgical candidate.

I told him the physical therapy was making things worse. “You’re not a surgical candidate but, you need to spend more time in therapy.”

My left foot isn’t working properly any more and caused a fall. “I don’t know” and a dumb look.

I was so close to leaning forward and snapping his overgelled hair into shards that Tony was ready to pounce and stop me from killing this punk ass kid. And, I mean that. When you are 31 (and that is all I am, 31) your doctor shouldn’t be that damn much younger than you.

And he did my favorite version of diagnosing a patient. He didn’t even look at my back. He looked at the initial x-rays, told me “The narrowing isn’t that bad, the degeneration isn’t that bad.” When the last doctor who saw the x-rays told me he could see the degeneration, pointed out all the herniated areas and bone spurs.

You know what? I wish I could reach into his back and turn his spine and nerves and discs into how mine are. I wish there was a device where I could show him how much pain I’m in every day of my life. And, I wouldn’t even wish it to be a permanent pain. No one deserves to suffer like this. Not even a asshat of a resident with no bedside manner.

The first resident I saw at Ortho will make a great doctor. He had a reassuring manner, was calm, and even though he didn’t help the pain, he listened to me. That right there is half the battle. The one today? He’s going to be the kind of doctor that you avoid, unless your insurance covers no one else.

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