Bad Day

I hurt. It has been one of those days where the pain just stays on me all day. No relief, no matter what I do. So, I sit here and shake. I have no idea why but, it is how I cope. I do it in my sleep, as well, according to Tony. I shake half the night away.

Blogger is open to try and distract myself but the only thing I can focus on is the pain. I did my physical therapy exercises this afternoon and that just made everything worse, I laid down for a bit which made the back spasms work so I got back to sit and shake.

I am now keeping a pain journal (on paper, which is a novelty) since that was recommended to me by a few other chronic pain patients as something to give my doctor when I see her in October. Good lord, October 12th is so far away, I don’t know how I’ll make it until then. I hope and pray that they’ll do something, then. I’m even pushing myself harder to quit the smoking as I can’t go on anything for the nerve pain until I’m off the Wellbutrin to quit smoking.

And, I have to quit smoking. I am so tired of the smell, the taste, the disgustness of it but the nicotine withdrawal is horrible. I’m slowing down, on the Wellbutrin and have my quit date set as the 21st. On the evening of the 20th, the cigarettes, lighters, and ashtrays are gone from me. I will put these down and leave them down this time.

Wow, I am all over the place here. It’s amusing to have to correct my typos from the shaking and rocking, though. I should have just left them alone. Maybe, I’ll do that one day.

For now, I’m laying back down.

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