No I didn’t watch Britney Spears’ “reality” show nor will I. I am not Britney obsessed, hell if I wanted to watch a trashy chick with her even trashier husband make the mistake of bringing a child into their world I can spin around in any direction in this town.
Now, I did go see Star Wars. Tony and I bought tickets online a few hours prior to the 12:01 AM premiere and beat feet up to the theater. Where at 10:30 there was a line from hell to wait until they actually allowed us inside.
Yes, there were people in costume. And lightsabers and geeks and well, a whole lot of people missing work and/or school the next day. A few hundred as a matter of fact. We stood (okay, he stood, I sat in my chair) in line listening to various conversations and wishing that we had popcorn right that minute to eat.
When, I had almost given in and asked Tony to hike instead to the building, and where we were at it was a hike, to get popcorn when the line began to move. It’s a good thing I hadn’t because I would have sat there, by myself in the parking lot, since I can wheel my chair about, oh, 10 feet without help. (Yes, I have an electric chair but, it is for moving about, not sitting in for 1.5 in line, then another 3 hours or so for the movie.)
As we worked our way towards the building I got more and more excited. I’m so the queen of the geeks. Even though, I haven’t been a lifelong Star Wars fan, I have been counting down to this movie in my head, on paper, and aloud to Tony for a long time.
In fact, I had never seen any of the original trilogy before I met Tony. Then, they came out as “Special Editions” in the theaters and we went to them. Tony to see them as an adult on the big screen and me to see them at all.
And, I fell in love. Even with the horrendous acting (Hello, Mark Hamill, Carrie Fisher, I’m so looking at you), the dialogue that is worse than what you see in a pretentious film students first “film”, and the whole Han “frozen in carbonite but, still gained a shitload of weight” Solo stuff. I loved them.
I became obsessed, reading forums and Usenet, spoilers and fan sites. My obsession was to the point that I read the script to Episode I and still went to see it. And, then JarJar. Good God, in what universe was JarJar Binks a good idea? Why Lucas? WHY? I wanted to rip his ears off and amputate his arms about 3 minutes into the movie.
But, I let that go. Padme’s (as Amidala) costumery pulled me in. The landscapes, the beauty. I let the crappiness go and went into the story. Fuck the fact that poor Jake “I work security forever as I can’t fucking act” Lloyd had the worst lines in the history of movies. I quote “Yippee!”
I let it ride and allowed myself to get excited about Episode II. Okay, a little better, I mean come on, the start of Boba Fett. Other than that, yeah, blah. Same gorgeous landscapes, cool aliens, not so much of the pretty Padme but, I dealt. And JarJar, much less JarJar. Although I was still wishing for someone, anyone, to run a lightsaber through his long eared, lopping ass.
And, it ended and I was looking immensely forward to III. I knew (hell, we all knew) that III had to have a whole lot of the story crammed into it. We know the story, we just don’t know the details.
There was the whole Clone Wars anime-style cartoon series which gave away some. Oh, like General Grievous, and other bits and things but, that more fed my addiction. I needed Episode III.
So, we’re back, going into the theater. The ramp up is cut by a velvet rope on giant, heavy ass stands. And, my chair won’t fit, I can’t move them. There was a sweet man behind us though, who moved them out of the way for me. He had also kept us entertained in line as he talked with people around him, and on his cellphone to his wife.
Especially when he was discussing the guys parked near the parking lot entrance. As we swung into the parking lot, our headlights (and they are bright and high, bitches) lit up a couple of guys who were holding up Star Wars toys they were trying to sell. I threatened to holler out “Give me a Darth Tater or I saber you” but, Tony looked at me like I was nuts.
Okay, back inside. We were scooted to the third theater showing the film as it was the best chance of us getting to sit together. (Limited wheelchair parking and lots of asshats sit in the seats beside them and refuse to move. Notice, if someone in a chair comes in, move, jackass. There are more than 100 other seats, there are 2 or 3 spots for wheelchairs, don’t be that asshole.)
Tony went to get popcorn and I waited. And waited. Every minute took a thousand years. All I wanted to see was that yellow scroll across the screen. Commercials, then finally, finally previews began.
The movei theater was the quietest I have ever heard. There was barely anyone breathing. When it finally started I almost squealed. Hell, the inner geek girl within was dancing, squealing, and spinning all at once.
For the next 2.5 hours I barely moved. Well, other than when…
Okay, I’m not spoilering you. I know some of you want to wait until the crowds die down. I liked the movie a lot. It pleased the geek in me and made me happy. Don’t get me wrong, the dialogue was still bad, the acting: wooden. I was still happy with it, overall. We will be seeing it again but, I don’t think we’ll be taking Timmy as a couple scenes are way too much for children.
Now that the series has ended, I’m still the Star Wars geek girl but, I won’t obsess so much.
I’ll read some of the fan stuff, discuss the movies with other geeks and still think Boba Fett was pretty bad ass. But, the obsession won’t be as bad.
Well, other than my obessesion with owning a Darth Tater, damnit.