Archive for December, 2008

Dear Santa…

Sunday, December 21st, 2008

Dear Santa Claus,

As I’m sure you know Santa, this has been a rough year on my husband and me. While, early on it was good with him having a good job that pays decent money, and us getting to go see my family in Niagara Falls for the first time in 11 years, the last quarter of the year, was horrendous.

I understand you do not control the universe, that you are only capable of seeing if we are sleeping, or awake, of if we’ve been bad or good, and of delivering presents to all the little boys and girls of the world. I wish you could control health related things and in case you can and that is just something we don’t sing about, I decided to write my Christmas wishes to you.

First I would like all my family to be healthy in the coming year. No more huge health crises for my family. I would especially like for all my coming scans to come back clear, with no cancer anywhere in my body. My first scan isn’t until March, and I am terrified of what we will find.

Next, please let Charlie learn how to sleep at night. We have tried everything imaginable and the 3 year old little guy is just a night owl. Which would be all well and good if he wasn’t in Head Start and had to get up early. Let’s just leave it as mornings are not good around here.

Please bring all the children in my life the things the wish for the most. Not the huge lists they end up with as commercials get to them but the things that deep in their soul they truly desire.

Let my family stay as close knit as we are. Right now we live within a couple blocks of one another but as this changes later next year when Tony and I move closer to his work, please let us stay this way.

And, Santa most of all, please let there be as much love in my world next year as there is now. I know this is list full of huge wishes but, with your magic and all, I believe in you.

Love,

Suzy

Things not to do.

Sunday, December 21st, 2008

Things not to do, say, etc, to someone with kidney cancer.

Things not to say to a kidney cancer patient:

My (insert relation here) had the same thing, and died six months after surgery.

Won’t you hate losing your hair? (nope, there is no chemotherapy for kidney cancer, plus, I’ve been bald twice for St. Baldrick’s Foundation Fundraisers.)

At least you have a spare.

Can you keep the kidney?

Radiation sucks, doesn’t it? (again, no radiation, unless it is in your bones, then it is only to alleviate pain, kidney cancer is a bitch and doesn’t die easily.)

Since your kidney is gone that means you no longer have cancer? (my tumor is gone but, I have to be very closely watched to make sure I don’t have any tumors show up elsewhere.)

Don’t tell someone they look tired. They know they do, the are tired, cancer, and/or surgery recovery is rough on the human body.

Don’t do this:

Treat them like they are a different person. (I’m the same person I was prior to my diagnosis, I’m just short one organ and up one scar.)

Don’t stop talking to us. You don’t have to even talk about the cancer, just talk like you normally would.

Don’t quit asking us to do things. We’ll tell you if we’re not up for it.

Don’t presume that there are certain things they can not eat, drink, etc. There maybe but, we know what that is, we do not need diet police.

Yeah, these are all by experience and this has only been going on 3.5 months.

Tre

Saturday, December 20th, 2008


This is Tre. He is 5 years old and in kindergarten. He loves to play video games, wrestle, and play light sabers. He is addicted to Star Wars, Harry Potter, Wrestling, and other silly cartoony things.

He is one of the sweetest kids on the planet. Right now he is asleep on his bed with at least one limb hanging off of it, as he always has one limb hanging off the bed. Hopefully, it isn’t his head right now.

I have nothing much to say today so I figured I would introduce him to you. Have a great day.

L

Thursday, December 18th, 2008

There is a woman I know, she’s older, around 60, although I never believe how old she says she is. She’s short, and round, and red headed. She is one of the sweetest women on the planet.

Honestly, she reminds me of me. She loves children, loves to write, always has a camera nearby. She has struggled with her weight, and continues to. She has a mass of curly red hair that is just gorgeous. Her smile lights up a room, especially when her eyes go downcast and her lips upturn, in an grin that is wonderful but, that she seems to be hiding.

L, let’s call her L, always has a kind word, and I have never seen her say anything harsh about another human being. L is always there to support me, and even when I am very down she can bring me up.

Over the weekend, I drug myself out to the Lodge children’s Christmas party with the two boys and my Granny. And, L was there, as she is always there for Lodge functions, we talked, a lot, she made me smile, and she bought me the sweetest get well gift, The 2009 Writer’s Market which is THE book for writers who are selling their work.

Now, I didn’t cry there but, I had a tear roll down my cheek on the way out. L believes in me to the point that she made me promise to mention her when my first book is published. I will. While, I have sold many articles, worked for several publications long term my long term goal is to write novels. Since L believes in me to this point, I need to get off my butt, get this book done, and get it published, so I can dedicate it to her, for believing in me.

Christmas Tree

Tuesday, December 16th, 2008

Mom put up the tree for us today, it isn’t with our collected ornaments but with some that were bought to solely have an easy tree to put together since our ornaments are way up in the attic and, well, yeah, as you can imagine we’ve all been a bit busy.

I watched the boys put a couple ornaments each up, took a couple pictures and it was back to bed for me. The past couple days have been very rough for me. My pain levels are staying high, I had 2 staples pull out last night and I am just tired of all of this. Knowing that this surgery real was life-saving doesn’t make it easier when you’re just completely tired of hurting all the time.

And, I’m sad that I am missing out on so many things that I like to do, no baking, no decorating, no crafting. I haven’t even put most of my cards I have received up as raising my arm above my head pulls on my incision.

Later this week I have 2 doctor’s appointments, in which I should get the rest of my staples removed and hopefully that will reduce that pain, even though I imagine the internal pain will be there for some time.

That is about all I have to say today, hopefully tomorrow I’ll start much earlier and actually have time to write a decent noncomplaining entry. Have a good one.


Charlie and Tre decorating the tree today after they got home.

an ornament grouping by the boys.