Daily Archives: December 21, 2008

Dear Santa…

Dear Santa Claus,

As I’m sure you know Santa, this has been a rough year on my husband and me. While, early on it was good with him having a good job that pays decent money, and us getting to go see my family in Niagara Falls for the first time in 11 years, the last quarter of the year, was horrendous.

I understand you do not control the universe, that you are only capable of seeing if we are sleeping, or awake, of if we’ve been bad or good, and of delivering presents to all the little boys and girls of the world. I wish you could control health related things and in case you can and that is just something we don’t sing about, I decided to write my Christmas wishes to you.

First I would like all my family to be healthy in the coming year. No more huge health crises for my family. I would especially like for all my coming scans to come back clear, with no cancer anywhere in my body. My first scan isn’t until March, and I am terrified of what we will find.

Next, please let Charlie learn how to sleep at night. We have tried everything imaginable and the 3 year old little guy is just a night owl. Which would be all well and good if he wasn’t in Head Start and had to get up early. Let’s just leave it as mornings are not good around here.

Please bring all the children in my life the things the wish for the most. Not the huge lists they end up with as commercials get to them but the things that deep in their soul they truly desire.

Let my family stay as close knit as we are. Right now we live within a couple blocks of one another but as this changes later next year when Tony and I move closer to his work, please let us stay this way.

And, Santa most of all, please let there be as much love in my world next year as there is now. I know this is list full of huge wishes but, with your magic and all, I believe in you.



Things not to do.

Things not to do, say, etc, to someone with kidney cancer.

Things not to say to a kidney cancer patient:

My (insert relation here) had the same thing, and died six months after surgery.

Won’t you hate losing your hair? (nope, there is no chemotherapy for kidney cancer, plus, I’ve been bald twice for St. Baldrick’s Foundation Fundraisers.)

At least you have a spare.

Can you keep the kidney?

Radiation sucks, doesn’t it? (again, no radiation, unless it is in your bones, then it is only to alleviate pain, kidney cancer is a bitch and doesn’t die easily.)

Since your kidney is gone that means you no longer have cancer? (my tumor is gone but, I have to be very closely watched to make sure I don’t have any tumors show up elsewhere.)

Don’t tell someone they look tired. They know they do, the are tired, cancer, and/or surgery recovery is rough on the human body.

Don’t do this:

Treat them like they are a different person. (I’m the same person I was prior to my diagnosis, I’m just short one organ and up one scar.)

Don’t stop talking to us. You don’t have to even talk about the cancer, just talk like you normally would.

Don’t quit asking us to do things. We’ll tell you if we’re not up for it.

Don’t presume that there are certain things they can not eat, drink, etc. There maybe but, we know what that is, we do not need diet police.

Yeah, these are all by experience and this has only been going on 3.5 months.