Monthly Archives: February 2020

The opposite of a crisis of faith

What is the opposite of a crisis of faith? An abundance? A surfeit?

I mean I am heading in an entirely different direction in my faith. For years I have had none. My faith in an omnipotent being was gone.

Believing in God was always a part of me and then I got cancer at 33, my first love committed suicide, a few other major things happened and it was gone. Not just no longer believing in the Church. I mean that is part of it, I was raised Catholic and the Church has so many problems I had to walk away from it.

Logically, God makes no sense. Hear me out. If you think about science and how the universe works and how the Bible contradicts itself? It makes no sense.

Yet, there is a feeling that has been growing in me. A tiny (mustard?) seed of faith.

I haven’t gone back to a church. In fact, I am not even sure where this is heading for me. I know that the Catholic Church will never be a place for me again.


Is anywhere going to be right? I refuse to belong to a body that is anti-woman, anti-gay, anti-love. Is there a way to be the person I am and a person who believes?

We shall see.