18 days until I turn 28, as of right now, April 3rd. That scares the hell out of me. It feels like I just turned 25 a day or two ago, yet, I'm barreling toward 30 at an astounding pace. I'm not where I planned to be at almost 28. Nowhere near it.  

Thinking back to high school, I was sure I'd be a teacher and a mom by now. And I'm neither. My life path changed so completely from when I was a teenager. There are nights when I wonder if it is a dream. If I'm going to wake up one day and be 19 again, just out of high school, dating a jackass, and going ready to go to college.  

Life is weird, isn't it?  

If I sit down and examine my life, I can see how my entire existence shifted with a small decision here or there. Something as simple as missing that one class or going shopping that day, that changed my entire being.  

I can not even imagine how my life would be, had, I followed my original path. I was accepted to a college in Nebraska of all places. I was ready to go, getting ready to send in my down payment, when Randy, came back into my life.  

Where do I even begin with telling the tale of Randy? He was my on again, off again boyfriend/fiance from the age of 16 - 19. Randy was much older than I. Close to ten years, which when you're a teenager is an amazing amount. Hell, if I remember correctly he was 28 at my Senior Prom (I was 19).  

We met through mutual friends. One night I was wondering the boardwalk, which was my main weekend haunt at that age, and I ran into a friend, Peaches, who was married to my ex's brother, Daryl. Peaches just knew she had the perfect guy for me, drug me off, introduced me to Randy, and that began three of the longest years of my life.  

Randy was not who your mother, nor my mother, would pick for a boyfriend. He'd been in and out of jail (mostly in), in and out of work (mostly out) and was just a leech on society.  

Yet, me, the fixer, the healer, had to date him. Until I met Tony I always seemed to find men who needed to be fixed. Who needed someone to take care of them. I started in my long line of losers at a very young age, Randy was just a big kerplonk instead of a plink.  

We dated, we fought, we broke up, I dated someone else. Or hell, we didn't have to break up and I dated someone else. During the first half of my Senior Year, I was single most of the time. Randy and I had split up, I was dating a few people here and there, but no one who was a big enough loser for me to latch onto was in the picture.  

I was applying to colleges, even with my horrendous record from earlier on. I was accepted to several, but, denied entrance to the one school I really wanted to go to.  

Then, another college accepted me. A school that had a program I liked, a tuition I could afford, and wasn't that close to home. I was ecstatic. My Mom, not so much.  

Life was going great, then Randy walked back into my life. We were a couple again, and he proposed. One night while we were sitting on the same boardwalk, he asked me to marry him.  

And like an idiot, I said yes. There went my college plans. I couldn't take him with me, I couldn't go to school locally, so, I started looking for something else to do.  

I decided on Strayer College. It's more of a business school than anything and it had a one year intensive Computer Systems program. Randy and I had decided on a date to marry, things looked wonderful.  

Until he went back to jail. He had been arrested, the previous winter, following a fight we had. He got drunk, drove a motorcycle, ran from the police, wrecked the (stolen) bike, and didn't have a driver's license.  

I visited him a few times, but, something in my clicked. I realized I didn't want to spend the rest of my life with him. He was going nowhere, I wanted out.  

I wrote him. A long letter explaining why it was over, how I couldn't take it anymore.  

Two days later he called. Not only had he received the letter, but, his mother had died. Yeah, talk about horrendous timing. I went, picked him up from the county jail and tried to find him a way to the funeral. That didn't work, I took him to his home, and that was that.  

As soon as I dropped him off, a huge weight lifted from my shoulders. Even though I had changed my plans for college, I was no longer getting married (and this all happened a mere 10 days before we were supposed to get married).  

Where would I be now, if I hadn't broken up with him? I don't know, but, I'm glad I'm here.  

Suzy