This was one of the interview questions from TUS interview projects.   

You call yourself a fat activist. What does being a fat activist mean to you? After reading your website, I’ve noticed that you’re very much against people who criticize your choices and appearance (As you should be!). I’ve noticed that you’re very confident, as well. How long did it take you to be more accepting of your body and to stop letting what others said about you affect how you thought about yourself? Or, have you fully reached that point yet?  

Wow, where should I start with this. The beginning would help.  

I've been fat for years, I was actually a very thin, to the point of bony, child. My siblings were heavier than I, in fact when I was 4 and 5, my next younger sister was 2 and 3 and people would mistake us for twins.  

Around 10 years old or so, I gained a little bit of weight. I was not fat, by any means, but I had extra flesh on my stomach and legs. I wasn't happy about it and started to not eat at school and lost some of the weight. That is until my Mother caught on and made sure I was eating like a normal child.  

I gained back weight to the point that at 12 years of age, I quit eating. I became extremely ill and was hospitalized for a couple of weeks with a virus that almost killed me. At the same time I was going through puberty, starting my period, and still gaining weight. In fact, by this point I was fat. The doctors diagnosed me as malnurished, which I couldn't understand. I was fat, how could I be malnurished?  

Through my teen years, I dieted. Over and over again, I would deny myself food. I dieted myself into larger and larger clothes, with more and more fat adding to my mass.  

At 18 years old, after I had just returned to high school (I dropped out for a year and went back) I looked at my family, going as far back as I could. The vast majority of the people in my family were fat. I sat down with my parents and discussed this with them. Now, my parents are both fat. Daddy has always been a large man, from the time he was a child, Mom gained weight as she had children, one after the other.  

I realized that maybe, just maybe, it wasn't so much what I ate, but heredity. I was doing all the right things. I ate properly, I exercised, I took my vitamins, yet, I was still fat. At that time I decided that instead of dieting, I would keep on eating properly, exercising and taking care of myself.  

I would no longer concern myself with the number on the scale. It was time to work on the rest of me, the real me, not the excess adipose cells in my body.  

Don't get me wrong, I wasn't fat and unhappy one day, and then fat and accepting the next. This has been a long process, one that has gone on for 10 years now and still isn't finished.  

In fact, it's only within the past 3 years or so, that I have accepted my body as it is. I'll show people pictures of myself. Hell, I'll allow people to take pictures of me. I don't try to hide in my clothes, as I did for a few years. I'm back to being me. I dress, well, weirdly. I like red and bright colors, leopard print and wild dresses. Until a couple years ago, I didn't allow myself what I loved.  

And really, what brought me to this point is: My disease/injury. I'm disabled due to degenerative disc disease. I stick out even more now, with my (heavy duty) wheelchair or my cane. I realized how fleeting this body is, that you should love yourself, now, for what you have. I learned not to wait for that magic number on the scale to live your life. You never know when it's going to be taken from you.  

I lost the ability to walk and dance and hike like the average person, I will not allow others to tell me how I have to life my life because I'm fat.  

I have to give credit to some of the other fat activists online. Had I not found things like Fat!so? and NAAFA, I wouldn't be as confident as I am. I found a voice for my views, there. One where I wouldn't be dismissed as "that fat chick" as I was in so many other places. Following many of those sites, I started Fat Bottomed Girls as the loudmouth fat chick site. I swear, I bitch, I don't pull punches with people about fat activism. FBGs has been a great thing for me, not only in hooking me up with other fat activists, but in the emails I get every day, cheering me on, and boosting my ego.  

I also have to give a lot of credit to my husband, Tony. He showed me that I am sexy, cute, beautiful, even. He understands where I'm coming from and fully supports me in all that I do. And when he looks at me and smiles, then tells me I'm beautiful, that right there is the biggest confidence boost anyone can give to a person. 

Suzy Smith