I watched “A Charlie Brown Christmas” tonight. Most years I watch it, in fact there are very few years I have missed it, if any.
When, I was younger it was a reaffirmation of my faith at the end. When Linus tells the Christmas story, it cheered me.
Now, at 38 and without the faith I grew up with, it is just a cartoon. Christmas is a family day, but the faith is gone.
At times I miss having a connection like that. The lack of faith is hard when you believed so deeply for so long.
I could go into a long discussion on what lead me to this, but, really it is easier to just list a few things: cancer, children dying of cancer, a friend’s suicide at 34, the pain and suffering around me, the hatred that has developed in my country in the past few years.
How can there be something more out there, some all-knowing being, when there is so much pain and hatred in the world?
I know though you can’t force the faith to come back, no matter how much you wish it would.
Sidenote: If anything would bring me back, it might be the new Pope. He is doing some pretty great things with the Catholic Church. Yes, I was raised Catholic. That’s another story for another day.