Yes, it's the 17th of the month and this is only my second update.  I suck, I suck.  Actually, this month has been so friggin' busy.  I am so ready for a quiet week or two.  I just want to sleep for a year.

I have been working on the redesign for my 4th anniversary of this journal, in fact, I think I have it done, I just have to let it sit for a day or two, then I'll make a final decision.  Other than that, it's been babies, Moose stuff, Tony gone, Tony's school, sick, chest pain (torn muscles and aspirated french fry), and just a long drawn out month.

It doesn't feel like the middle of March, it's cold outside and inside for that matter.  I want 70 degree days, damnit, and sunlight.  Enough of the cold, grey and rain, we need nice weather.  

I've done a lot of writing this month for some characters that won't leave me alone.  Yes, I have those.

People who invade my dreams and my waking mind.  Those who need me to write down their stories and drive me insane until I do.  They beg, they plead, they live out their lives in my brain, until, I give them wings onto the page.  Then, only then, I'm allowed to free them to live their own live.

One of the stories is good, real fucking good, as in I plan on actually working futher on it, instead of leaving it as a wallowing mass of ones and zeroes on my hard drive.  I'm not a fiction writer, normally.  Fiction has never been my strong suit.  I know this site doesn't show my best non-fiction pieces, but a couple pieces from here and Fat Bottomed Girls have been published elsewhere.  I hoping a few more based on FBGs will be, in fact, I'm waiting to hear back from an author who is writing about size acceptance, who contacted me.  

This idea, though, it just has bloomed.  I have a basic outline for it, and my mind is filling in the details.  I have a goal of having the first draft of it done by November, taking a month away from the story, then revising in early 2005.  

We shall see.  If the kids, and the rest of my life, cooperates it will be done by then.  If it pans out how I hope it will, I'll be posting it in a passworded portion of this site for comments.  

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Now, back to life this month.  The first weekend was Dart Tournament weekend.  Just to give you the basic idea of what we went through, Tony bartended for 50 hours, in 3 days.  It's a volunteer job, IE, no pay, but it helps out my Dad and the Lodge.  I sold t-shirts, beer, and food for the same hours.

It happens once a year and is dreaded for months in advance.  The amount of work Tony puts into it is astounding, by Sunday evening, his feet were mounds of fire and pain were flesh used to be.  

Plus, my sister, Mary, had a severe Chrone's flare and was taken to the hospital by ambulance.  She is okay as she can be, now.  I choked on a fucking french fry, tore muscles in my ribcage/chest and apparently aspirated part of it.  I've been in pain since and on meds that make me mean as shit.  The french fry has left the building, but it will be awhile before I am 100 percent.  

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The rest of the month has been the same old, same old; Kids, classes, engine repair, the normal upkeep of a house.  I'm ready for a free weekend, with clear weather, for us to go camping.  I need to be outside in the woods with the quiet.  I want to be away from everything except my husband and a good book.

It will happen, soon, or I will curl into a ball and weep.
Suzy Smith